Anger is a healthy, honest feeling that is neither right nor wrong. It sends a message, just like any other emotion, informing you that a situation is distressing, unjust, or dangerous. With anger being a mode of expression, the central question to address is, How can I Manage my Anger and Stay Calm?
If your first reaction to rage is to explode, your message will never get across. While it’s natural to feel furious after being wronged or mistreated, anger becomes an issue when it’s expressed in a way that affects yourself or others. Hence it’s important to know how to manage anger and stay calm.
Managing Anger and Staying Calm- A Revolutionary Practice
Many individuals believe that managing anger and staying calm in stressful situations entails learning to control your emotions. However, it is not a healthy goal to never become angry.
The foremost aim of anger management is to understand the main cause & message underlying the emotion and express it in a restorative way without losing control, rather than suppressing feelings of anger.
You’ll not only feel better, but you’ll also be better equipped to meet your needs, manage conflict in your life, and enhance your relationships if you do so.
It takes effort to master the art of managing anger, but the more you practice, the easier it will become. It helps to know how to control anger in a relationship. The payback is substantial.
The Five-Step Approach to Manage my Anger
This strategy can help you regulate your anger if anything happens that makes you angry. Because you start with the problem you’re upset about, it’s termed a problem-solving method. Then you analyze your options and make a decision.
Each phase entails asking yourself a series of questions and then responding to them depending on your specific circumstances.
Let’s take an example which most of us have been through in our younger days.
Consider: You have plans to attend a party, but your mother just instructed you to clean your room or stay at home. The red-hot rage begins to rise.
Here’s what you should do:
1. Recognize the issue (self-awareness)
Identify what you’re furious about and why you’re angry. Put your feelings into words so you can act rather than react.
Ask yourself, “What is it that makes me angry?” What am I feeling and why am I feeling this way?
Consider: “I’m furious with Mom because she won’t allow me to attend the party unless I clean my room beforehand. It’s not right!” Your emotion is rage, and you’re enraged because you might not be able to attend the celebration.
This is an important step in knowing how can I manage my anger and stay calm?
2. Before replying, consider possible solutions (self-control)
Take a breather and give yourself some time to calm down. It’s also when you begin to consider how you could react – without really reacting.
Consider: What can I do? How to manage anger and stay calm? Consider at least three possibilities. In this circumstance, for example, you might consider:
(a) I could scream and throw a tantrum at Mom
(b) I may clean my room first and then inquire about attending the party
(c) In any case, I could sneak away to the party
3. Think about the implications of each option (think it through)
Consider what might happen if each of the reactions you came up with occur.
Consider: What will happen if each of these options is chosen? Consider the following scenario:
(a) Yelling at your mother could land you in more difficulties, including being grounded
(b) Cleaning your room is time-consuming, and you may be late for the party
4. Make a choice (pick one of your alternatives)
Examine the options and choose the one that is most likely to be successful. Think about how to control anger in a relationship, in this case with your mother, which is important for you.
Consider the following: What is my best option? You’re probably past yelling at your mother, which is a knee-jerk reaction, by the time you’ve thought it through. You might also have determined that slipping out is too dangerous. Neither of these solutions will get you to the party on time. As a result, option (b) appears to be the better alternative.
It’s time to take action once you’ve decided on a solution.
5. Examine your progress
After you’ve acted and the situation has passed, take some time to reflect on how things went.
Examine your performance and ask yourself, did everything go as planned? Why not, if not? Am I satisfied with the decision I made?
After everything is through, it’s critical to take some time to reminisce on how things went. It allows you to learn more about yourself and test which problem-solving strategies work best in various situations.
If the solution you chose works out nicely, clap yourself on the back. If it didn’t, go back through the five steps to discover what went wrong.
Managing Anger in Other Ways
- Physical Exercise
- Journaling
- Listening to Music/Singing
- Sketching
- Meditation and breathing exercises
- Venting
In conclusion, anger is a powerful feeling. It can be exhausting at times. It’s a part of maturing to learn how to deal with intense emotions without losing control. It will take some effort, practice, and patience, but you can get there if you really want to.
I hope you are clear with these points if not or If you want to know more then don’t hesitate to visit our website and to book a free coaching call.
